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Transitions, decisions, the capability for love

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The missing comes in waves, and the disappointment. The confusion, well, it's always been there.


A sinking feeling that I've just let something beautiful slip through my hands.


Wallowing somewhat, my music library and tastes make it all too easy. Eventually, catharsis, perhaps?

posted by ceeifb | reply (0)

Breaking the silence

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I've never been comfortable breaking the silence, especially at a public or semi-public venue with more than a couple of people around. It feels like too much of an imposition of myself on a space or audience that couldn't care less.


That being said, is sa.yona.la really this quiet, or is most of the activity just kept private?

posted by ceeifb | reply (0)

Software Design

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In an attempt at more productive procrastination, I've been reading Code Complete. It seems only fitting, since the next stage of our work would seem to be redesigning and re-implementing quite a chunk of our current Google Docs syncing code, which I played a major part in messing up.


Sure, it works (most of the time anyway) but it's gotten too unwieldy and kludgy and unmanageable, and is difficult to test.


I should begin to collect any factors or caveats that would affect our redesign.

posted by ceeifb | reply (0)

Think things through #1

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Today I learned to think things through. More precisely, the necessity of learning to think things through was once again driven home.


An unconsidered edge case caused a bug -- the number of children a folder can have on Google Docs isn't limited, but in our server DB the field storing this (as a JSON list, which is another design crime I feel I'm gonna pay for), there was a character limit of 65,535.


Bandage, short-term solution? Change the field type from TEXT to LONGTEXT, for a 4-billion character limit, much less likely to be reached in common cases. (Arguably even the previous limit would be reached only rarely, but is possible for a few thousand files in a folder, so it wouldn't have been THAT uncommon...) Then fix the corrupted (truncated) data, thankfully only a couple of test folder rows.

posted by ceeifb | reply (0)

The fixed mindset; openness

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Why does going through Carol Dweck's Mindset again feel just as much like an epiphany as the first time? (Apparently, it didn't stick, and I had just reverted back to my stubborn fixed-mindset ways.)


Focus on growth. Recognize and learn from your failures -- don't let them discourage and define you.


Stop moping. Think instead, "What am I going to do about it?"


Maybe then you won't feel like you have to keep hiding different bits of yourself from different people.

posted by ceeifb | reply (0)

Let's try this again, shall we?

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I haven't been writing enough. It's time to begin producing again.

posted by ceeifb | reply (0)

SNEW All Stars

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posted by f7yxif | reply (0)

Operation Tomodachi

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3svz2w83

All American people, Japanese never forget your helping and saving our country and citizen.

Thanks from the bottom up.

posted by 6we8mk | reply (0)

family

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wants to fit into a family.

posted by rnjrny | reply (0)

Twitter?

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I don't want to tweet, but buzz, huh?

posted by 6we8mk | reply (0)

Another scene

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I'm in another relationship. This time I do love. She loves me too. But not as much. She's certainly more experienced than I. In fact I'm not too sure if she really loves me. Ing can say she loves me because I love her. I don't think she'll love me if I don't. She was in a one-sided love, only about a couple of months ago before we met. Yes she'd have done anything for him. She's done almost everything for him, it seems. I don't think she'll do that for me though. Or, yes, she doesn't do anything for me. She was prepared to give up everything for him. She's NOT prepared to do the same for me though. Simple - she doesn't really love me. She says that one-sided love expired long ago. But she'd only erase his shadows in her only when I find them out. I know his shadows, things that remind her of him, still permeate in her. It drives me crazy. Somehow it's not that I'm jealous of him. Rather it's that I can't stand her lies. When she says she loves me, it's just not the same love she cherished for him. It's more of gratitude. Gratitude in response to my love.


My solution is to accept the fact. Accept that she doesn't love me. Be prepared to let her go when she can no longer pretend to really love me.

posted by z9dg5z | reply (0)

Oww

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My chest sorta hurts.

And I have a random bruise on the outside of my left thigh.

posted by cx2hqe | reply (0)

Steadfast

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I think the major flaw in my personality is my obstinacy.


I have no intentions of ever changing my personality. I like the way I am.

posted by cx2hqe | reply (0)

Winter

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It's snowing.

posted by cx2hqe | reply (0)

Sleepy

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est5j9er

I finally took the air conditioner out!

I guess I'll clean my windows next.

posted by cx2hqe | reply (0)

Struggle

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I would rather forfeit than fight a battle I know I'll lose.


Life, too, is a war.

posted by cx2hqe | reply (0)

Motion.

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Just discovered that I've developed motion sickness.

posted by cx2hqe | reply (0)

This, too, shall pass away

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When some great sorrow, like a mighty river,

Flows through your life with peace-destroying power

And dearest things are swept from sight forever,

Say to your heart each trying hour: "This, too, shall pass away."


When ceaseless toil has hushed your song of gladness,

And you have grown almost too tired to pray,

Let this truth banish from your heat its sadness,

And ease the burdens of each tring day: "This, too, shall pass away."


When fortune smiles, and, full of mirth and pleasure,

The days are flitting by without a care,

Lest you should rest with only earthly treasure,

Let these few words their fullest import bear: "This, too, shall pass away."


When earnest labor brings you fame and glory,

And all earth's noblest ones upon you smile,

Remember that life's longest, grandest story

Fills but a moment in earth's little while: "This, too, shall pass away."



-Lanta Wilson Smith

posted by 6phqe8 | reply (0)

:(

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It breaks my heart when I heat up food and it sounds like it should be really hot, but by the time I take it back to my room and eat, I find that the center is cold.

posted by cx2hqe | reply (0)

Re: and

kk

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what a simple thing!

posted by u2fktw | reply (0)

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